Monday, 25 May 2015

In sickness and in health

Pip is poorly.  It is heart-breaking to see this tiny (if chunky) little lady so uncomfortable and being able to do little about it.  She has had a cold for around a month now- more likely one virus after another- and seems unable to quite shake it off. 

You're singing Taylor Swift in your head aren't you... well you probably are now.

The latest sniffles have turned into a cough, accompanied by a wheezy chest resulting in a very over tired baby.  Come to think of it- a very over tired Family T!  When the littles are poorly its all hands on deck.  It just so happens to be a bank holiday and so Mr T is around.  We actually had plans to escape to the Big Smoke together tomorrow (this never happens) to see a band with some friends.  This band holds great meaning to me and brings many fond memories of the beginnings of our relationship- it's fair to say I'm a little bit gutted to be missing out.  That said, even if I were to go, I would not enjoy the show and would be very much on edge until back by Pip's side.  What's more important than the wellbeing of family?

There are times when illness strikes in the middle of the working week.  The worst kind has to be the dreaded sickness bugs.  Noro and Rota viruses are just plain evil!  When such a... *ahem* storm goes down I am always more than a little resentful of Mr T as he leaves the house for work.  I can't help but wallow in this self pity as I maintain my position on vomit-watch, bucket at the ready, wavering at my own peril.  I think back to times before children, times of sleep, a busy social calendar and my own income to spend freely.  Then I'm hit by a pang of guilt as Crazy nuzzles under my arm for comfort, or a sad cry emerges from Pip, unable to tell me the cause of her distress.  Times have changed, I'm no longer just me, nor am I now just Mrs T- I am Mumma T.  I am the glue that holds my family together and actually, I wouldn't change it for the world.  So, I won't get to see a band play- there will be other times.  I will get to see my children through their sadness and pain and back to good health and their cheeky antics once more and that means more than anything.

Whilst I may still accidentally elbow a snoring Mr T in the face as I get up to see to poorly Pip for the tenth time that night, I will only do it gently because actually, when daylight breaks and I can't take much more, there he is.  He's putting the kitchen back together after I have ransacked the cupboards for the elusive bottle of calpol in my sleep deprived state at 2am.  He's handing me a toasted sandwich when I realise that noise I've just noticed is my rumbling tum, too distracted by the littles to realise I haven't eated yet.  He's lining up the sterilised bottles ready to go as I realise I've just used the last one and hadn't had enough sleep to allow for any forethought.  He's amusing Crazy whilst I tend to poorly Pip.  Even on work days, as he walks through the door he's running the bath for the stinkiest child, bringing home dinner, hiding the toys behind the curtain- or tidying up, whatever- so I don't have to do it.  He's there too, we're a team.

I didn't realise when I said my vows that in sickness and in health applied to so many people.  Ourselves, each other, family, friends.  What I also hadn't realised is that it comes back to you from those very same people.  I'm not alone.  It sometimes feels like it at 2am when the baby is screaming, the calpol is hiding and the whole world is sleeping except me- but I am not alone.

Pip is better than yesterday and I am hopeful that tomorrow she will be better still.  Crazy is... well the clue's in the name.  He's bounding about, putting to use his newly found language skills.  His very loud story has something to do with trains and ducks.  I think.  When Mr T heads out tomorrow night I won't be feeling envious, he needs a break too.  I'll be looking forward to a soak in the bath (Pip allowing) and an early night (yes, I'm joking, there's no such thing!) and being happy in the knowledge that I will be turfing Mr T out of bed for the early shift the following morning because- hey, you can't have it all.  You already agreed to it Mr T, there are witnesses to be called upon!