Sunday 15 March 2015

Mum's the word

What makes a person a 'Mum'?  For me, it's about selflessly putting another person's needs before your own.  It's about loving someone with your whole heart and doing anything possible to make them safe and happy.  It's about listening more than talking, guiding rather than pushing, providing and not wanting. It's eating chocolate in secret because you don't want to share it... come on now, we all do it!

My Mum has always put us first.  I'm the middle of three girls (poor Dad!).  That's a lot of hormonal tantrums in one house, right there.  We have never gone without.  My parents have always worked hard for us- far too many hours than they should ever have had to and often more than one job at a time.  Despite all the pressures of life, my Mum has remained a role model to us.  She is a strong, capable lady.  She always has time for someone in need and will always go out of her way to help a friend.  She is smart and funny and brave.  When I was young, I knew I wanted to grow up to be like my Mummy.  The funny thing is, now I have children of my own I have become my mother at times.  I can't help it- her voice just falls out of my mouth unannounced- "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!" woah... when did that happen?  To be honest, it started about when the goblins came into my life courtesy of Mr T.  The words and phrases were just in there, rattling around my noggin awaiting a small person in need of guidance.  I'd say, Mum, that's a job well done. The lessons in life you have taught me remain ingrained.  Your shared wisdom, just like your love, is etched into us forever.  You did great Mum, we will never be able to thank you enough.

I'm now in my thirties- a 'proper' grown up.  I have children of my own.  When my son, Crazy, was born I realised a capacity for love that I hadn't thought possible.  Little over two years on and my daughter, Pip-squeak, is proving that love is limitless.  Whilst I may have to share my time and attention there is more than enough love to go around.  It's the sort of love that enables you to wipe stinky little bottoms, pick gross boogers obstructing tiny nostrils and catch sick in your bare hands- that, ladies and gents, is parenthood.  It's wanting the last piece of cake but giving it to your toddler and watching him decide he doesn't like it after all and mushing it into the carpet.   It's cooking  three different dinners for three different tastes because it's worth it for full tummies.  It's needing desperately to sleep but watching her for just a minute longer because- well, look at her... she's incredible.  It's just wanting half an hours peace to watch a programme and zone out without being pestered, but instead listening to a teenager waffling on because hey- he has ventured from the darkness of his room to make human contact, so whilst it sounds like pointless drivel there is something important hidden in there, something that he's sharing with me.  It's so many things that I thought I was too selfish to ever do until my children came along and changed me for the better.  It's more rewarding than you can imagine or I can describe.  Its a tiny hand holding yours.  It's your child becoming a person in their own right and making decisions with confidence.  It's a card with just a few words from a sullen teen that speak volumes.  It's a happy heart and a happy home.

I will always be grateful to Mr T, the wonderful man that has given me wonderful, beautiful children.  I will always be grateful to my parents for showing me what it means to be a good parent.  To my friends and family for their ongoing support during the tough times.  I'm also lucky enough to have married into an amazing, caring family and my support team just keeps growing.  I hope to make you all proud.

Happy Mother's Day to all- if you're lucky enough to be able, give your Mum a big squeeze and tell her how much you love her.  If today is a difficult day and you can't be with yours, think of the good times and know- even from my limited experience as a mother- that she would want you to be happy and she will be proud of the person you are if you are just being true to yourself.

Mum- I love you, I will always need you and when things get tough I ask myself what you would do.  Thank you for everything you have sacrificed for me (I'm guessing sleep more that anything, right?).  Each passing day, now that I too am a mother, shows me just how much you love me.  I hope you can be as proud of me as I am of you xx

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